


i think.. i like her too

by warning_dragon_country



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, and i completely forgot about him, and pop culture refs, and the grisha kids from tgt, bc i am a gigantic nerd, bc when i first started writing, i hate myself he's my fave, ill add more tags as the fic develops, im crying this is all random bullshit me and my friend spit out over skype at 11 oclock at night, im trying to keep this p canon to events at the end of ck, it was almost midnight and i was half asleep, kuwei isnt in this at first, most of the typos are actually real and mistakes i made, pekka makes a cameo as jakob, so possible spoilers as to whos still here and whatnot, the title is completely subject to change you guys, theres musical references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 14:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10833000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warning_dragon_country/pseuds/warning_dragon_country
Summary: Barrel_bastard added TallDarkAndHandsome and wylan_v_eck15 to the chatBarrel_bastard has renamed this conversation About Ms. ZenikBarrel_bastard: ok guysBarrel_bastard: what’s up with ninawylan_v_eck15: what do you mean?Barrel_bastard: she’s been acting funny





	1. Barrel_bastard has renamed this conversation About Ms. Zenik

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this is p short but it sets up some questions that will be answered later  
> its more of a prologue really
> 
> hope you enjoy! its my first time publishing on ao3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is p short, its mostly a prologue.
> 
> its just here to set up certain questions and feelings that will be explored as the fic continues
> 
> hope you enjoy!

 

**_Barrel_bastard_ ** _ added  _ **_TallDarkAndHandsome_ ** _ and  _ **_wylan_v_eck15_ ** _ to the chat _

 

**_Barrel_bastard_ ** _ has renamed this conversation  _ **About Ms. Zenik**

  
  


**Barrel_bastard:** ok guys

 

**Barrel_bastard:** what’s up with nina

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** what do you mean?

 

**Barrel_bastard:** she’s been acting funny

 

**Barrel_bastard:** and besides her usual nina-ness

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** wow rude kaz

 

**Barrel_bastard:** im serious guys she wasnt like this before she started dating my girlfriend

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** that sentence

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** that doesnt bother you?

 

**Barrel_bastard:** hey im not some possessive ass fuck like that douchebag twilight wannabe aleksander from biology

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** that’s hilarious coming from you, kaz

 

**Barrel_bastard:** did you just

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** please dont kill my boyfriend

 

**Barrel_bastard:** i wont

 

**Barrel_bastard:** today

 

**Barrel_bastard:** cause i got a problem that needs solving

 

**Barrel_bastard:** and she wears red too goddamn much 

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** she’s also dating your gf

 

**Barrel_bastard:** thank you wylan, for that Incredibly Necessary Reminder

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** i cant imagine any1 else dating my curly

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** what thw fuck 

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** did you jsut call me

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** i love u?

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** -.-

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** ok babe ily2

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** (◠∇◠✿)

 

**Barrel_bastard:** gross

 

**Barrel_bastard:** and what the fuck is that emoji

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** ( ◠∇◠✿ )凸

 

**Barrel_bastard:** i'm gonna disband this chat if we keep getting off topic

 

**_TallDarkAndHandsome_** _has renamed the conversation_ **anything but nina**

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** now were not

 

**_Barrel_bastard_ ** _ has removed  _ **_TallDarkAndHandsome_ ** _ from this conversation _

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** lmao

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** ok kaz

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** what's Nina doing that's so weird

 

**Barrel_bastard:** she's gotten flirtier

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** ?

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** I haven't noticed anything

 

**Barrel_bastard:** well

 

**Barrel_bastard:** wylan

 

**Barrel_bastard:** you're gay

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** what's that got to do with anything 

 

**Barrel_bastard:** …

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** I see your point

 

**Barrel_bastard:** but youre missing the problem 

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** I seem remember a certain boyfriend of mine who, despite his obvious homosexual love for me, continues to notice the activities of beautiful girls like our dear miss zenik

 

**Barrel_bastard:** fiine

 

**Barrel_bastard:** add him back

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** yay thanks dad

 

**_wylan_v_eck15_ ** _ added _ **_TallDarkAndHandsome_ ** _ to the conversation _

  
  


**Barrel_bastard:** don't call me dad

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** daddy

 

**Barrel_bastard:** fFS JESPER

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** I'm dead oh my god he's gonna kick you again babe

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** I bargained for you don't throw it away 

 

**Barrel_bastard:** ANYWAY

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** lmao wy why tf is your name still wylan veck 15

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** it's wylan /v/ eck not veck god jes

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** and

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** I don't know how to change it

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** ok im comin ovr

 

**Barrel_bastard:** do you two want to be alone, because i can go

 

**Barrel_bastard:** it's not like i had a question or a problem or anything

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** sorry kaz

 

**wylan_v_eck15:** what do you need?

 

**Barrel_bastard:** i want jesper to tell me if he's noticed nina being weird around me

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** lmao i havent seen anything

 

**Barrel_bastard:** and youre sure?

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** no im outrite lyin to your cyber face

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** yes im sure

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** why

 

**Barrel_bastard:** idk yet

 

**Barrel_bastard:** hmm

 

**Barrel_bastard:** okay

 

**_Barrel_bastard_ ** _ has left the conversation _

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** pfft

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** so polite 

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** ok wy im almost there so im turnin off my data 4 now ill see ya in a few 

 

**_TallDarkAndHandsome_ ** _ is offline _

 

**_wylan_v_eck15_ ** _ changed his username to _ **_Da Bomb_ **

 

**Da Bomb:** okay guys I think I figured it out

 

**Da Bomb:** guys?

 

**Da Bomb:** kaz? jesper??

 

**Da Bomb:** babe???

 

**Da Bomb:** figures

 

**_Da Bomb_ ** _ has left the conversation  _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, if you also get a kick out of the grisha trilogy, my friend @Artisticly_Anonymous is writing the grisha gangs adventure in group chats
> 
> content warning for memes, magical lesbians and sinful darkling/alina  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/10768815/chapters/23882964


	2. thewraithhascomeforyou is online

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a private chat between kaz and inej, who are nerds and in love

**_Barrel_bastard_ ** _ is online _

 

**Barrel_bastard:** hey inej?

 

**Barrel_bastard:** baaaaabe

 

**Barrel_bastard:** light of my life

 

**Barrel_bastard:** treasure of my heart

 

**Barrel_bastard:** i have a question

 

**Barrel_bastard:** inneejjj

 

**_thewraithhascomeforyou_ ** _ is online _

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** christ kaz

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** i never knew you were clingy

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** i like it

 

**Barrel_bastard:** you what

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** what

 

**Barrel_bastard:** haha ok

 

**Barrel_bastard:** hey have you noticed anything weird about nina

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** no? why

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** is she okay?

 

**Barrel_bastard:** no yeah shes fine

 

**Barrel_bastard:** your girlfriend is totally okay dont freak out

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** oh good phew

 

**Barrel_bastard:** its cute that youre concerned though

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** aww thanks babe

 

**Barrel_bastard:** hehe

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** but no? She hasn't acted differently around me

 

**Barrel_bastard:** huh

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** why? are you guys okay?

 

**Barrel_bastard:** yeah i think

 

**Barrel_bastard:** its just

 

**Barrel_bastard:** is she flirting with me? more than usual?

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** nnot to my knowledge? i’ll ask her tho

 

**Barrel_bastard:** aaaaaaahh babe doon’tt i’ll never hear the end of it

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** baby come on

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** i’ll be subtle, you think all these years of wringing out popular kid secrets hasn't left me with a few tricks?

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** have some faith in the wraith my love ^.^

 

**Barrel_bastard:** fine

 

**Barrel_bastard:** i trust you 

 

**Barrel_bastard:** damn i gotta go

 

**Barrel_bastard:** Jakob is yelling for me

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** your foster dad?

 

**Barrel_bastard:** yeah he’s a douche

 

**Barrel_bastard:** but staying here with him lets me stay here with you, and the guys, soo

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** :c

 

**Barrel_bastard:** eh

 

**Barrel_bastard:** i’ll see you tomorrow at school?

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** i wouldn’t miss it for the world :D

 

**Barrel_bastard:** i love you

 

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** i love you too you big nerd <3

 

**_Barrel_bastard_ ** _ is offline _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also a really short chapter..   
> they get longer in the next chap so stay tuned lmao


	3. youre a giant fuckibg nerd inej

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short chapter in which inej and nina are gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was so fun to write i love these two
> 
> also, i want to address the fact, these first few chapters aren't the entire gang, but that'll be remedied in the next chapter (im still sorry kuwei)

**thewraithhascomeforyou:** hey babe

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** im here sweetie

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** heyyyy

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** heyyyyy

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** lmao

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** howve ya been old girl

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** ha, im good, you?

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** so much better now that youre here <3

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** awwww babe

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** so i have an awkward question

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** no our cycles arent synced yet

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** o h

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** okayy

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** not what i wanted to know

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** oh

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** but still.. interesting, i guess

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** lmao

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** your question?

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** its really out of the blue lmao

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** HIT ME BABY

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** ONE MORE TIME

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** i love you so much its inexpressible

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** lmao go on

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** *deep breath* are you flirting with kaz

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** pls don't think I'm angry or something I'm not

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** someone asked me

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** oh

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** umm, yeah? I flirt with everyone babe

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** yyeah but

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** have you like, upped it at all or??

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** babe

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** the only thing im upping is my love for you

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** b a b e

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** ily2

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** lmao who tf asked this of you

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** i cannot tell, it would be a breach of contract

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** gasp ohh nooo

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** lmao

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** but yeah i was supposed to be subtle but then i thought yknow its nina my bae so why not fuck subtlety in the butt

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** kinky

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** im leaving you

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** babe wait nooo i can change

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** lmfaooo

 

 **Big Bi Badass:** oh come on its not taht ridiculous

 

 **thewraithhascomeforyou:** //lmfaoooo//

 

 **_Big Bi Badass_ ** _changed her username to_ **_O F F E N D E D_ **

 

 **_thewraithhascomeforyou_ ** _changed their username to_ **_suck it up buttercup_ **

 

 **suck it up buttercup:** life is a bitch

 

 **suck it up buttercup:** suli proverb no. 43

 

 **O F F E N D E D:** lmfao suure

 

 **suck it up buttercup:** how dare you insult my culture I'll have you know I've been having a passionate affair with kaz while we've been together

 

 **O F F E N D E D:** /babe/

 

 **O F F E N D E D:** and lmao what passionate affair I know for a Fact the farthest you two have gone is staring across the room at each other

 

 **suck it up buttercup:**.....

 **suck it up buttercup:** ...passionately

 

 **O F F E N D E D:** lm

 

 **O F F E N D E D:** crying

 

 **suck it up buttercup:** aha

 

 **suck it up buttercup:** I have chipped through your outer shell

 

 **suck it up buttercup:** my words sting like knives

 

 **suck it up buttercup:** all tremble before me

 

 **suck it up buttercup:** I am the wraith

 

 **suck it up buttercup:** the foreboding spectre of death

 

 **O F F E N D E D:** youre a giant fuckibg nerd inej

 

 **suck it up buttercup:** shit,,,,

 

 **suck it up buttercup:** u right,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also one of my fave things about kanejina is that they all get what they want  
> kaz gets inej, inej gets kaz AND gets a lover she can touch and cuddle, and nina gets to be with someone again after Matthias.. . happy snowman. . .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> also dont tell me that after kaz warms up and gets accustomed to feeling human feelings, he wouldnt have a crush on nina bc, like, cmon its nina we ALL have a crush on nina


	4. emo phases, child custody and those no longer with us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kaz unadopts wylan, eats a cookie and puts his foot in his mouth by bringing up an ex

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** and then i told him what i thought of him

 

**Da Bomb:** and what's that babe

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** hes an entitled emo twilight wannabe douchebag

 

**suck it up buttercup:** omg what did he say

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** he didn't

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** he jyst punched me in the gut right there in the cafeteria

 

**Da Bomb:** oh my god are you okay

 

**suck it up buttercup:** hahaha I'm honestly on aleks’s side, you can't just walk up to someone and say hey you're a douchebag 

 

**_O F F E N D E D_ ** _ is online  _

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** hey kaz

 

**suck it up buttercup:** lmfaooooo

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** what 

 

**O F F E N D E D:** I'm not kaz

 

**TallDarkAndHandsome:** …

 

**_TallDarkAndHandsome_ ** _ changed his username to  _ **_I TRIED SO HARD_ **

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** AND GOT SO FAR

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** BUT IN THE END

 

**O F F E N D E D:** jesper u emo-ass fuck

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** hey i was 13 once

 

**Da Bomb:** tOO REAL

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** you had an emo phase babe?

 

**Da Bomb:** hell yeah

 

**Da Bomb:** i hoe’d so hard for 5 seconds of summer

 

**Da Bomb:** like you wouldnt believe

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** oh my god

 

**suck it up buttercup:** wylann,,, honey,,

 

**O F F E N D E D:** oh my fucking god wylan 5sos isnt emo

 

**Da Bomb:** what?

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** im sorry babe

 

**Da Bomb:** fine, if 5sos isnt emo, what is? What did you guys listen to?

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** My Chemical Romance

 

**O F F E N D E D:** My Chemical Romance

 

**_Barrel_bastard_ ** _ is online _

 

**suck it up buttercup:** My Chemical Romance

 

**Barrel_bastard:** hell yeah mcr

 

**Da Bomb:** et tu kaz

 

**Barrel_bastard:** why are we talking about mcr

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** WYLAN THINKS 5SOS IS EMO

 

**Barrel_bastard:** …

 

**Barrel_bastard:** wylan im disowning you

 

**Da Bomb:** D:

 

**O F F E N D E D:** dont worry wy inej and i will take care of you we’ll be your badass moms

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** ohh its nina

 

**Barrel_bastard:** can i have visitation rights

 

**suck it up buttercup:** darling you just disowned him

 

**Barrel_bastard:** i still want to see my not-son, just because i'm a terrible father doesn't mean i have to be.. uh...

 

**Da Bomb:** like my real dad?

 

**Barrel_bastard:** sounds awful but yeah

 

**Da Bomb:** that's okay dad, and yeah you can come have supervised visits once a month :))

 

**Da Bomb:** let's say the third saturday

 

**Barrel_bastard:** woah

 

**O F F E N D E D:** hell yeah you tell him buddy

 

**suck it up buttercup:** we’ll have ice cream for dinner tonight sweetie

 

**Barrel_bastard:** hell yeah can i come over

 

**Da Bomb:** its not saturday

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOO WYLAN

 

**Barrel_bastard:** brb

 

**_Barrel_bastard_ ** _ changed their username to  _ **_FOREVER_ALONE_ **

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** heheheheheheheheehehhe

 

**suck it up buttercup:** inej give me my fucking phone back

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** no you took mine

 

**suck it up buttercup:** because you took mine first!

 

**O F F E N D E D:** lovers quarrel

 

**suck it up buttercup:** shut the fuck up nina

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** lmfao savage

 

**suck it up buttercup:** im just gonna go home with your phone 

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** ahhh baby don’t go home yet

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** i’ll miss you

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** come here

 

**suck it up buttercup:** aww babe

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** wait you guys are both at inejs house but ur talkin in the group chat

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** shut the fuck up jesper

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** wow kaz r00d

 

**suck it up buttercup:** hA WASN’T ME

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** :O

 

**suck it up buttercup:** AHAHAHAHA I GOT MY PHONE BACK

 

**suck it up buttercup:** I, HUMBLE INEJ GHAFA, SEDUCED THE ONE AND ONLY DIRTYHANDS

 

**suck it up buttercup:** I THIEVED THE THIEF

 

**suck it up buttercup:** he’s complaining like crazy right now you guys

 

**O F F E N D E D:** oh my god

 

**O F F E N D E D:** i love my evil girlfriend

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** and you arent worried shell pull this shit on you?

 

**O F F E N D E D:** why the fuck do you even think she’s dating kaz

 

**Da Bomb:** snaap

 

**suck it up buttercup:** kAZ

 

**suck it up buttercup:** DONT

 

**suck it up buttercup:** OH MY GOD HE’S IN OUR COOKIES NINA

 

**O F F E N D E D:** GIVE HIM THE PHONE GIVE HIM TH E F UC KIN G P HO NE

 

**suck it up buttercup:** i just threw it at him

 

**Da Bomb:** i want a love like that someday

 

**O F F E N D E D:** you’ll find it my son

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** eXCUSE ME

 

**Da Bomb:** whoomp there it is

 

**suck it up buttercup:** wylan omfgg

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** HAHAHA IM BACK BITCHES

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** back

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** in black

 

**suck it up buttercup:** he stopped, put his coat back and popped the collar in between those messages

 

**Da Bomb:** the e in brekker stands for Extra

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** theres two e’s dipshit

 

**Da Bomb:** extra extra

 

**suck it up buttercup:** omf

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** i /honestly/ don't know how to respond to that

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** ooh wylan you stumped kaz

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** he didn’t stump me

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** thats p hot babe

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** he didn’t stump me

 

**O F F E N D E D:** lmao sure kaz

 

**Da Bomb:** (｡•́︿•̀｡)

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** …

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** fucking

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** fine

 

**Da Bomb:** ＼(￣▽￣)／

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** seriously

 

**suck it up buttercup:** haha, i'm surprised mr. forever alone hasn't changed his name yet

 

**FOREVER_ALONE:** …

 

**_FOREVER_ALONE_ ** _ changed their username to _ **_goddamn you all_ **

 

**O F F E N D E D:** lmfaoooo

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** we love you too kaz

 

**goddamn you all:** go to hell

 

**Da Bomb:** (っ´ω`)ﾉ(,o\n/o,) calm down dad

 

**suck it up buttercup:** look at my son, pacifying the beast

 

**O F F E N D E D:** we've done so well

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** i love my bae

 

**goddamn you all:** i swear to god you guys if matt was here 

 

**goddamn you all:** he’d tell you what idiots you’re being

 

**goddamn you all:** wait fuck

 

**goddamn you all:** how do i delete that

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** …...

 

**goddamn you all:** i'm sorry nina

 

**O F F E N D E D:** its okay kaz

 

**O F F E N D E D:** its been a year since he moved back to norway 

 

**suck it up buttercup:** *hugs nina*

 

**O F F E N D E D:** :) thanks babe

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** i rlly do wish he’d stuck around tho

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** he was fun to tease, and it was nice not being the only tall person in the clique

 

**goddamn you all:** this isnt a fucking clique jesper

 

**suck it up buttercup:** jesper’s right though

 

**suck it up buttercup:** matthias could be so kind now and then, and he was honourable

 

**suck it up buttercup:** i haven't hung out with people like that since middle school

 

**suck it up buttercup:** i miss him too

 

**Da Bomb:** we all kiss matthias

 

**Da Bomb:** *mISS FUCKFUCK

 

**suck it up buttercup:** omfggg

 

**goddamn you all:** haha, thats the kinda thing that would make him lose his mind

 

**O F F E N D E D:** yeah

 

**goddamn you all:** fuck it

 

**goddamn you all:** he was a benefit to the team

 

**O F F E N D E D:** kaz...

 

**goddamn you all:** no shut up

 

**O F F E N D E D:** do you miss him too

 

**goddamn you all:** no

 

**suck it up buttercup:** kaz..

 

**goddamn you all:** …

 

**goddamn you all:** you know what

 

**goddamn you all:** maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so mattie isnt rlly gonna be in this fic bc its a modern take of the events after ck so yeah  
> rip tulip 4ever in our hearts  
> the ending was supposed to be feels-y but it feels kinda weak feedback appreciated  
> also, comment down below if you stand with wylan or not


	5. there's more to life than homosexuality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wylan Misunderstood(TM)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, hope you enjoy!
> 
> name directory at the bottom for those who need it ^u^

**O F F E N D E D:** ok but

 

**O F F E N D E D:** but if his family hadn't taken him to go to that stupid military school located wherever they filemd frozen

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** frozen wasnt filmed

 

**suck it up buttercup:** shoosh jes

 

**O F F E N D E D:** A N Y W A Y S

 

**O F F E N D E D:** if he’d stuck around

 

**O F F E N D E D:** i’d never have dated inej

 

**O F F E N D E D:** as much as i miss him..

 

**O F F E N D E D:** not a total loss i guess?

 

**suck it up buttercup:** omg babe

 

**suck it up buttercup:** i love you so much

 

**O F F E N D E D:** <3

 

**suck it up buttercup:** <3<3

 

**goddamn you all:** ew

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** hey wy

 

**Da Bomb:** yeah?

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** <3

 

**Da Bomb:** aww babe <3

 

**goddamn you all:** eW

 

**suck it up buttercup:** hey kaz

 

**goddamn you all:** ..yes?

 

**suck it up buttercup:** <3

 

**goddamn you all:** asdfghjkl

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** oooh kaz has a lil crushh

 

**goddamn you all:** that's my /girlfriend/

 

**suck it up buttercup:** aww babe you have a crush on me?

 

**goddamn you all:** inej,,, we’re /datingg/

 

**suck it up buttercup:** still...

 

**O F F E N D E D:** LMFAOOOO

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** omg

 

**Da Bomb:** Andy is the best tbh

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** I prefer star lord tbh

 

**suck it up buttercup:** let's just all agree Chris Pratt is great

 

**O F F E N D E D:** Chris Pratt is everything a girl could want

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** ….

 

**Da Bomb:** ..I keep forgetting you aren't a lesbian 

 

**suck it up buttercup:** oh my sweet gay son

 

**O F F E N D E D:** there's more to life than homosexuality

 

**Da Bomb:** um

 

**Da Bomb:** I'm good thanks

 

**suck it up buttercup:** wow wylan you must be hilarious kaz just raised an eyebrow 

 

**goddamn you all:** /b a b e/

 

**Da Bomb:** bitch I'm hilarious

 

**Da Bomb:** I'm tiny gay and can't read

 

**Da Bomb:** i've got one up on that lil bitch kuwei

 

**Da Bomb:** by the way where is he

 

**goddamn you all:** his dad won't let him get the app

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** inej

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** kaz is still at your house?

 

**goddamn you all:** oh like wylan doesn't spend hours at your house

 

**I TRIED SO HARD:** *catfish guy voice* you got me there 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHATNAME DIRECTORY  
> goddamn you all ~ kaz  
> Da Bomb ~ wylan  
> I TRIED SO HARD ~ jesper  
> suck it up buttercup ~ inej  
> O F F E N D E D ~ nina


	6. you can't see it but i'm pinching my nose and sighing in frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kaz messed up /again/ and took a nap  
> also boyfriends and girlfriends are amazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kaz's swears in this chapter hurt my innocent hufflepuff soul to write  
> .  
> chatname key at the bottom!

**_O F F E N D E D_ ** _ changed her name to  _ **_MY GF IS AMAZING_ **

 

 

**_I TRIED SO HARD_ ** _ changed his name to  _ **_MY BF IS AMAZING_ **

 

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** lmao

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** kaz you should join us

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** your dating inej too

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** is he even on

 

**goddamn you all:** I'm always on jesper

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** how the fuck did your message startle me

 

**goddamn you all:** you're too easy to scare jesper

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** s’true

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** gang up on me why doncha

 

**goddamn you all:** call wylan to your side then 

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** i cabt

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** he and inej are in gymnastics rn

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** hence the amazing 

 

**goddamn you all:** lmao

 

**goddamn you all:** she is pretty great

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** ehehehe

 

**goddamn you all:** fucking

 

**goddamn you all:** whta is it jesper

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** someone has a cruuushhhh

 

**goddamn you all:** FFS JES

 

**goddamn you all:** SHES MY GIRLFRIEND

 

**goddamn you all:** I LOVE HER

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** omggg

 

**goddamn you all:** oh my god what

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** nothing, its just..

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** we never really get to see you emote

 

**goddamn you all:** oH MY GOD

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** you’re kinda adorable?

 

**goddamn you all:** /you’re/ kinda adorable

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** bitch im marvelous

 

**goddamn you all:** sHIT PLS LET ME DELETE THAT

 

**goddamn you all:** IT WAS A JOKE

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** its true tho?

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** lmao kaz r u ok 

 

**goddamn you all:** IM

 

**goddamn you all:** BYE

 

**_goddamn you all_ ** _ is offline _

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** wtfffff

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** that boy, is2g

 

**_Da Bomb_ ** _ is online _

 

**Da Bomb:** hey guys

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** BAEE

 

**Da Bomb:** lmao hi babe

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** howd it all gooo

 

**Da Bomb:** ehhh

 

**Da Bomb:** i dont think im cut out for gymnastics

 

**Da Bomb:** and the instructor, van houton or whatever her name is

 

**Da Bomb:** major bitch

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** *salutes* major bitch

 

**Da Bomb:** lmfao

 

**Da Bomb:** ok what the fuck happened with kaz earlier

 

**Da Bomb:** did kaz call nina cute

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** why is everyone surprised i am a naturally cute person 

 

**Da Bomb:** wait a minute

 

**Da Bomb:** hmmm

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** what is it babe

 

**Da Bomb:** idk yet honey

 

**Da Bomb:** i'll keep an eye out and inform you later

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** ok babe i trust u

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** young love at it's finest

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** ikr

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** we should get our own tv show

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** on tlc

 

**Da Bomb:** we should

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** TLC, the channel with pregnant teenagers and gay ass little boys

 

**Da Bomb:** doesn't that sound great

 

**suck it up buttercup:** hell yeah

 

**MY GF IS AMAZING:** BABE

 

**suck it up buttercup:** /BABE/

 

**MY BF IS AMAZING:** lmao hey inej

 

**suck it up buttercup:** haha, hey Jesper

 

**suck it up buttercup:** hi to wylan too

 

**Da Bomb:** aww heyy

 

**suck it up buttercup:** is kaz here

 

**Da Bomb:** dad’s absent as always

 

**suck it up buttercup:** lmao

 

**_suck it up buttercup_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Team Mom_ **

 

**Team Mom:** lmao

 

**_MY GF IS AMAZING_ ** _ changed her name to  _ **_Team Mom’s gf_ **

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** :D

 

**_Da Bomb_ ** _ changed their name to _ **_Team Son_ **

 

**_MY BF IS AMAZING_ ** _ changed his name to  _ **_TEAM SON’S HOT BF_ **

 

**_TEAM SON’S HOT BF_ ** _ changed his name to  _ **_WAIT SHIT CAPS IS ON_ **

 

**_WAIT SHIT CAPS IS ON_ ** _ changed his name to  _ **_FUCK CAPS LOCK_ **

 

**_goddamn you all_ ** _ is online _

 

**goddamn you all:** what in gods ever loving motherfucking name is worth all this goddamn notification spam

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** whoa-ly shit kaz

 

**FUCK CAPS LOCK:** wow friendo u ok

 

**goddamn you all:** you fuckers woke me up from a fucking nap how do you think im fucking feeling

 

**Team Mom:** aww babe im sorry

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** wait a minute

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** are we not talking about how kaz brekker, dirtyhands

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** the only person in our school who people respect/fear the same amount as they do Aleksander “actual heather chandler” Morozova

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** just woke up from a nap

 

**goddamn you all:** fuck you zenik

 

**goddamn you all:** what do you have agaisnt naps

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** nothing, but i haven't had one since i was six years old

 

**goddamn you all:** then youre fucking missing out

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** no, i’m fucking your girlfriend

 

**_goddamn you all_ ** _ has removed  _ **_Team Mom’s gf_ ** _ from the conversation _

 

**FUCK CAPS LOCK:** ohoho rip-aroni nina

 

**Team Son:** holy fuck

 

**Team Mom:** honey!

 

**Team Mom:** please control yourself my love

 

**_Team Mom_ ** _ added  _ **_Team Mom’s gf_ ** _ to the conversation _

 

**goddamn you all:** she started it

 

**Team Mom:** you can't see it but i'm pinching my nose and sighing in frustration

 

**Team Mom:** i should ground all of you

 

**FUCK CAPS LOCK:** hey wy and i didnt do anything

 

**goddamn you all:** you woke me up bitch

 

**FUCK CAPS LOCK:**.. that warrants grounding

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** hey babe 

 

**Team Mom:** yes dear?

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** I'm good right?

 

**Team Mom:** -.-

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** ilyy

 

**Team Mom:** you're lucky I don't throw you out, you're setting a terrible example for our son

 

**Team Son:** hiiii

 

**FUCK CAPS LOCK:** i should prolly change my name tgen

 

**_FUCK CAPS LOCK_ ** _ changed his name to  _ **_Boyfriend Material_ **

 

**Boyfriend Material:** there

 

**Team Son:** (* ♡∀♡)

 

**Boyfriend Material:** σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡

 

**goddamn you all:** ffs you two

 

**Boyfriend Material:** homophobe

 

**goddamn you all:** dont make me kick you

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** inej come useyour disney princess wiles and sooth this emo beast

 

**goddamn you all:** nina what the fuck

 

**goddamn you all:** im not a beast wtf

 

**Boyfriend Material:** oohh you two should do beauty and the beast for mine and wys halloween party

 

**Team Son:** oooh yes that would be awesome

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** I'll be jealous but that does sound cool

 

**goddamn you all:** asdfghjkl you guys

 

**Team Mom:** omgg 

 

**Team Mom:** I don't know you guys..

 

**Team Mom:** *whispers* we'll talk about it

 

**Team Son:** *whispers* yay

 

**goddamn you all:** my name is so accurate

 

**Boyfriend Material:** sos mine

 

**Team Son:** asdfghjkl

 

**Boyfriend Material:** (^ω~)

 

**goddamn you all:** ffs jesper

 

**goddamn you all:** you and those goddamn emojis

 

**Boyfriend Material:** umm theyre atcually emoticons? fake fan

 

**goddamn you all:** I'm not a fucking fan

 

**Team Son:** /clearly/

 

**Boyfriend Material:** eyyy high five bae

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** oh my god

 

**goddamn you all:** im going back to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KAZ = goddamn you all  
> INEJ = suck it up buttercup, Team Mom  
> NINA = O F F E N D E D, MY GF IS AMAZING, Team Mom's gf  
> (see what i did there? ;P)  
> WYLAN = Da Bomb, Team Son  
> JESPER = I TRIED SO HARD, MY BF IS AMAZING, TEAM SON'S HOT BF.....FUCK CAPS LOCK, Boyfriend Material


	7. please don't throw my little friend out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANIME BOY INCOMING
> 
> also hamilton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also yay ive run out of pre-written chapters so updates will be sparser kiddos
> 
> also this chapter is about 600 words shorter than usual? pls slap me as hard as you can
> 
> theyre getting longer again tho so yay

**Boyfriend Material:** so guys…

 

**Boyfriend Material:** i have news

 

**Boyfriend Material:** guess whos dad let him get the app

 

**_Boyfriend Material_ ** _ added  _ **_KAWAII DESU_ ** _ to the conversation _

 

**KAWAII DESU:** HELLO AMERICAN BITCHES

 

**Team Son:** for fucking crying out loud

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** KUWEI HI IT’S NINA

 

**KAWAII DESU:** HELLO NINA

 

**Team Son:** you were born here too kuwei

 

**KAWAII DESU:** you are wilhem, i presume?

 

**Team Son:** /kuwei/

 

**Team Son:** you know my name

 

**Team Son:** we’re chemistry partners

 

**KAWAII DESU:** ohhh i remember

 

**KAWAII DESU:** you’re the kid who’s dad got arrested!

 

**Team Son:** i swear to fuck im gonna fcking

 

**Boyfriend Material:** ok wy lets calm down pls

 

**KAWAII DESU:** from the name, i think you must be jesper ;)

 

**Boyfriend Material:** haha yeah thats me

 

**Boyfriend Material:** pls dont piss of my bf

 

**KAWAII DESU:** anything for you ;)

 

**Team Son:** are you seeing this

 

**Team Mom:** deep breaths wylan

 

**goddamn you all:** ah, it's kuwei

 

**KAWAII DESU:** your name is inappropriate

 

**goddamn you all:** how I missed you -_-

 

**KAWAII DESU:** I missed you guys too (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** oh shit

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** emoticons

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** Kaz is gonna burst a blood vessel 

 

**goddamn you all:** you're not making things better Nina

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** do I ever? ^u^

 

**goddamn you all:** I wanna take another nap 

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** awww

 

**goddamn you all:** if you had to deal with your bullshit you'd nap too

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** my bullshit clears acne

 

**Team Mom:** s’true

 

**Boyfriend Material:** actually p true kaz

 

**KAWAII DESU:** I agree with jesper

 

**Team Son:** you /always/ agree with jesper

 

**KAWAII DESU:** jesper is smart

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** SO

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** have you talked to zoya and genya recently?

 

**KAWAII DESU:** yes, they are doing well

 

**KAWAII DESU:** their dark friend is . .

 

**KAWAII DESU:** i forget word

 

**Team Son:** oy vey

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** controlling? 

 

**Boyfriend Material:** a jerk?

 

**goddamn you all:** a straight up bitch?

 

**KAWAII DESU:** strange

 

**Boyfriend Material:** oh

 

**KAWAII DESU:** like kaz

 

**Team Son:** oho here it comes

 

**goddamn you all:** did you fucking just

 

**goddamn you all:** actually compare me 

 

**goddamn you all:** to that douchebag morozova

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** please don't throw my little friend out

 

**goddamn you all:** no promises

 

**Team Son:** no promises

 

**goddamn you all:** hey

 

**Team Son:** hey

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** hey

 

**Boyfriend Material:** hey

 

**Team Mom:** ooooo-oooh

 

**Team Mom:** I do, i do, i do, I dooo-ooooo

 

**Team Mom:** he-eyy

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** OOOOOOH

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** I DO I DO I DO III DOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

**Boyfriend Material:** BOY YA GOT ME

 

**Team Mom:** HELPLEESSSS

 

**KAWAII DESU:** what

 

**Team Son:** look into your eyes and the sky's the 

 

**Team Son:** GODDAMNIT KUWEI

 

**Team Son:** WE WERE ON A ROLL

 

**KAWAII DESU:** w h a t

 

**KAWAII DESU:** what are you singing

 

**Boyfriend Material:** its a hymn to our lord and savior lin manuel miranda

 

**goddamn you all:** it's hamilton kuwei

 

**KAWAII DESU:** …

 

**KAWAII DESU:** whats hamiton

 

**goddamn you all:** oh mmy god

 

**Team Mom:** yooo here we gooo

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** ALRIGHT KUKU M’BOY

 

**Team Son:** kuku holy fck

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** IMMA GON TELL YOU A STORY

 

**Team Son:** i screenshotted that

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** BOUT THE FOUNDING OF OUR GREAT NATIOM

 

**KAWAII DESU:** oh god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KAZ - goddamn you all  
> INEJ - Team Mom  
> NINA - Team Mom's gf  
> WYLAN - Team Son  
> JESPER - Boyfriend Material  
> and give a warm welcome to  
> KUWEI - KAWAII DESU


	8. are you gonna leave me for mr witchy edgelord too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> founding fathers, badass lawyers, and looks like dad's not a deadbeat after all
> 
> NIKOLAI CAMEO *jazz hands*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fair warning whenever i talk about the grisha guys being hot its specifically to call out @artisticly-anonymous

**KAWAII DESU:** IM TAKING THIS HORSE BY THE REIND MAKING REDCOATS REDDER WITH BLOODSTAINS

 

**KAWAII DESU:** aND IM NEVER GONNA STOP UNTIL I MAKE THEM DROP AND BURN THEM UP AND SCATTER THE REMAINS IM

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** /LAFAYETTE/

 

**goddamn you all:** it's two in the morning

 

**Boyfriend Material:** LAFAYETTE

 

**goddamn you all:** ffs jesper

 

**Boyfriend Material:** dont be such a burr kaz

 

**Team Son:** ohohoo fuckin rip Kaz

 

**goddamn you all:** you guys are nuts

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** we're Hamilton nuts tho, so that makes it better

 

**goddamn you all:** does it really

 

**Boyfriend Material:** it definitely does

 

**Team Son:** it’s scientifically proven

 

**goddamn you all:** oh really now

 

**Team Mom:** yes it is

 

**Team Mom:** im dr inej

 

**Team Mom:** The leading scientist in this field

 

**Team Son:** then whos the nurse

 

**Team Son:** kaz or nina

 

**goddamn you all:** wylan you fucking kink factory

 

**Boyfriend Material:** wait what

 

**Team Son:** shut up kaz you went there too

 

**goddamn you all:** only because you directly implied it first

 

**Team Mom:** oh my god

 

**Boyfriend Material:** guys its still not hittin me

 

**goddamn you all:** ffs jesper

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** its doctors and nurses jes

 

**Boyfriend Material:** wY OH MY GOD

 

**Team Son:** ok change of subject kuwei’s been here the whole time just reading the messages 

 

**Team Son:** come out you fcking lurker

 

**KAWAII DESU:** …

 

**KAWAII DESU:** fine

 

**KAWAII DESU:** you have caught me

 

**KAWAII DESU:** i’m gay

 

**KAWAII DESU:** there, i am out

 

**Boyfriend Material:** LMFAOOOOO

 

**KAWAII DESU:** (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b

 

**Team Son:** hit me as hard as you can

 

**KAWAII DESU:** kinky

 

**Team Son:** oH MY GOD

 

**goddamn you all:** settle down now boys

 

**Team Mom:** yes dears listen to your father

 

**goddamn you all:** …

 

**_goddamn you all_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_Team Dad_ **

 

**Team Dad:** will you listen now

 

**KAWAII DESU:** awww yes fatehr

 

**Team Son:** omfg

 

**Team Son:** kaz playing along

 

**Team Son:** am i dead

 

**Team Dad:** shut up van eck

 

**Team Dad:** its two thirty in the fucking morning

 

**Team Mom:** why don't you go to sleep dear

 

**Team Son:** we should all go sleep tbh

 

**Boyfriend Material:** yeah i gotta help my dad with his garden tomorrow

 

**KAWAII DESU:** ahhh you go sleep

 

**KAWAII DESU:** you'll need rest if you're gonna be working hard tomorrow ;)

 

**KAWAII DESU:** say, would you like some help?

 

**Team Son:** …

 

**Team Son:** jesper you can't go garden with your dad

 

**Boyfriend Material:** oh my god you guys

 

**Team Mom:** Looks like elle’s gonna win the prize

 

**Team Dad:** whos elle

 

**Team Mom:** oh my god

 

**Team Mom:** im bringing my dads boombox

 

**Team Mom:** Im gonna stand outside your window and serenade you in the night

 

**Team Dad:** ...with what

 

**Team Mom:** l e g a l l y  b l o n d e 

 

**Team Son:** oh my god inej play the gay one

 

**KAWAII DESU:** ahh yess

 

**Team Dad:** the /what/

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** THERE RIGHT THERE

 

**Boyfriend Material:** LOOK AT THAT TAN WELL TINTED SKIN

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** LOOK AT THE KILLER SHAPE HE’S IN

 

**Team Mom:** LOOK AT THAT SLIGHTLY STUBBLY CHIN, OH PLEASE HE’S GAY,  TOTALLY GAY

 

**Team Dad:** i do not know wHat this is, but its aleks morozova

 

**KAWAII DESU:** oh snap

 

**Boyfriend Material:**  omfggggg

 

**Team Son:** i dont know the words you guys..

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** awww smol

 

**Team Son:** but i do know bend n snap

 

**KAWAII DESU:** MY FAVE SONG

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** omg not smol

 

**Team Son:** loOK. AT. MY. ASS LOOK AT MY THIGHS

 

**Team Son:** IM CATNIP TO THE GUYS

 

**Team Son:** THEY VHASE MY TAIL THEY DROOL AND PANT

 

**KAWAII DESU:** *chase

 

**Team Son:** WANNA TOUCH THIS BUT THEY CANT

 

**Team Dad:** hooo boy what kinda fucking musical is this

 

**Boyfriend Material:** its a heartwarming tale of love and friendship, fighting your way out of a bad relationship by bettering yourself and smashing stereotypes

 

**Boyfriend Material:** also theres a dog

 

**Team Dad:** does it die

 

**Team Dad:** i hate those movies

 

**Boyfriend Material:** n o

 

**Team Dad:** sign me up?

 

**Team Mom:** haha yess

 

**KAWAII DESU:** i have the movie with reese witherspoon

 

**Boyfriend Material:** i have

 

**Boyfriend Material:** /the bootleg/

 

**Team Dad:** that is piraitng

 

**Team Son:** omff

 

**Team Son:** where did you find it

 

**Boyfriend Material:** nikolai the senator’s son gave it to me

 

  **Team Dad:** *pirating

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** omg he’s great

 

**KAWAII DESU:** cute too

 

**Team Dad:** oh my god

 

**Team Son:** i keep forgetting senator lantsov’s son goes to our school

 

**Team Mom:** isnt his oldest going to harvard?

 

**Team Dad:** yeah

 

**Team Mom:** what’s his name again?

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** nik tells me to tell ppl its vaseline

 

**Team Dad:** oh my god

 

**Team Dad:** doesnt he hang out with morozova and them all?

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** not too much he’s got his own gang but he does hang with alina and genya sometimes

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** and i know he’s on the debate team with aleks too

 

**Team Dad:** rip him

 

**Boyfriend Material:** why do you hate him so much kaz

 

**KAWAII DESU:** aleksander is pretty hot too

 

**Team Son:** fucking hell kuwei

 

**Team Son:** get your thirsty ass out of here

 

**Boyfriend Material:** *coughs*

 

**Team Son:** dont you fucking dare

 

**Boyfriend Material:** i didnt say anything

 

**Team Dad:** oh my /god/ are you guys serious

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** well the boys are right tbh

 

**Team Dad:** dont fucking finish that sentence zenik

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** aleks is kinda sexy

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** oh fuck i sent that before i read your message pls dont kick me

 

**Team Dad:** fucking hell

 

**Team Dad:** does everyone here have a crush on him?

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** its not a crush per se

 

**Boyfriend Material:** yeah its more like

 

**Boyfriend Material:** uhh

 

**KAWAII DESU:** id let him slam me up against a locker in full view of our entire school

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** holy fuck

 

**Team Dad:** i think im actually going to have an aneurysm

 

**Team Dad:** but before i leave this world for the sweet release of the burning pits of hell

 

**Team Dad:** i must know

 

**Team Dad:** my darling

 

**Boyfriend Material:** yes dear?

 

**Team Mom:** yes dear?

 

**Team Mom:** fuck off jesper

 

**Team Dad:** fuck off jesper

 

**Team Son:** my boyfriend’s a homewrecker

 

**Team Dad:** MY QUESTION WAS

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** dont shout

 

**Team Dad:** fuck off

 

**KAWAII DESU:** thats not a question

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** EYYYY

 

**Team Dad:** i will fucking remove you all

 

**Team Mom:** what was it you wanted to know?

 

**Team Dad:** are you gonna leave me for mr witchy edgelord too

 

**Team Mom:** nah

 

**Team Dad:** phew

 

**Team Mom:** ive met my emo boyfriend quota already

 

**Team Dad:** what

 

**Team Mom:** i love you ^u^

 

**Team Dad:** im going back to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KAZ = goddamn you all, Team Dad  
> INEJ = Team Mom  
> NINA = Team Mom's gf  
> JESPER = Boyfriend Material  
> WYLAN = Team Son  
> KUWEI = KAWAII DESU


	9. get her a starbucks giftcard, bitches love that shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not even kaz is immune to nina's flirts and inej takes good pictures

**Team Dad:** hey whos awake yet

 

**_Team Dad_ ** _ changed their username to  _ **_get in losers we’re committing manslaughter_ **

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** *slides into chat* heya handsome

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** nice mean girls ref

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** thank you zenik

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** youre not so bad yourself

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** w o w

 

**Team Mom’s gf:** Tbh i didnt think you were capable of compliments ty cutie

 

**_Team Mom’s gf_ ** _ changed her username to  _ **_not so bad herself apparently_ **

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** kaz?

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** you still there?

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** yeah im

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** im wlaking to school and just got distratced

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** already? Its so early

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** yeah i just wanted to get out of the house before jakob and his bio daughter saskia woke up because she has a test today so there will be screaming about the location of her notes, backpack, makeup, etc.

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** ouch

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** you name it, she’ll scream about it

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** boys?

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** oh my god yes

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** she got into ths H U G E fight with jakob and his wife margit about this guy she was seeing and shit was being thrown so i ran to inej’s house and thats actually when we had our first kiss so i kinda owe her

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** huh

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** should i get her something 

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** get her a starbucks giftcard

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** bitches love that shit

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** lmao

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** hey what are you doing up this early

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** makeup takes forever

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** aahh yeah rip

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** lmao yeah

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** but wait

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** if you leave this early

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** you miss the bus?

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** yeah

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** i walk all the way

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** damn son

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** that explains the pics inej showed me

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** what the fuck

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** nothing

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** just

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** damn son

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** nina fucking zenik what the fck are you saying

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** i am saying

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** yes?

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** oooh impatience i like that in a man

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** motherfucking get on with it

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** ok ok honestly

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** you should wear tighter clothes

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** what the absolute fuck oh my god

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** what pics what started this nightmare

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** yknow the lake trip inej’s family invited you on?

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** when yall went swimmin?

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** t j a t  m o t h e r f u c k e r

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** i told her

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** to delete those

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** mmmmmmm boi im glad she didnt

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** oh my fucking god im going to kill inej

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** ehehehe

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** shut your fuck zenik im coming for you next

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** oh yes please 

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

 

**_get in losers we’re committing manslaughter_ ** _ is offline  _

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** You can run but you can't hide this from jes and wy 

  
  
  


3:45

 

**Team Son:** what the fuck happened here

 

**Team Son:** oh my

 

**Team Son:** hey nina

 

**Team Son:** sharing is caring

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** man inej is the dealer, you gotta go to her

 

**Team Mom:** lmfao i never shouldve shown you those

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** no you should not have

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** show em to wylan too

 

**Boyfriend Material:** me too pls

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** i hate you all so much

 

**Team Son:** h o l y f u c k

 

**Team Mom:** ikr

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** babe you didnt

 

**Team Son:** o h s h e d i d

 

**_Team Son_ ** _ changed their username to  _ **_I HAVE SEEN BEAUTIFUL THINGS_ **

 

**I HAVE SEEN BEAUTIFUL THINGS:** wheres kuwei he’s gotta see this too

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** his phone broke

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** im fucking leaving

 

**Boyfriend Material:** guyyssss let me in on it

 

**Team Mom:** sent

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** iNEJ

 

**Boyfriend Material:** hOLY FUCK

 

**Boyfriend Material:** DAAAYUM

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** JESUS CHRIST

 

**I HAVE SEEN BEAUTIFUL THINGS:** inej these pictures are works of art

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** wLAN

 

**I HAVE SEEN BEAUTIFUL THINGS:** shut up kaz im talking about the focus and lighting

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** this is a fucking rollercoaster of a day

 

**Team Mom:** aww thanks wy

 

**Team Mom:** i have a good muse

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** asdfghjkl

 

**Boyfriend Material:** well your muse has a /fantastic/ smile

 

**Team Mom:** ahhh i know right? I wish he would do it more often

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** /im right fucking here you guys/

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** actually no

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** im leaving

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** im chnaging my name and running away to mexico

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** ill get plastic surgery bc you can never be too careful

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** does this mean youre finally getting rid of that pitiful haircut

 

**Team Mom:** its not that bad nina

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** oh my god

 

**Team Mom:** oh my god dont make it weird

  
**not so bad herself apparently:** inej you naughty girl

 

**Team Mom:** nINA STOP

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** oh my god

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** I AM C A C K L I N G

 

**Team Mom:** N I N A SHUSH

 

**I HAVE SEEN BEAUTIFUL THINGS:** what is happening

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** YOU TOTALLY HAVE THE HOTS FOR THE EDGELORD HAIR

 

**Team Mom:** NI N A Z E N I K

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** THE WHAT HAIR

 

**Boyfriend Material:** oh man i wish i had popcorn

 

**_get in losers we’re committing manslaughter_ ** _ has removed  _ **_Boyfriend Material_ ** _ from this conversation _

 

**I HAVE SEEN BEAUTIFUL THINGS:** oh my fucing god

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** FIRST OF ALL

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** MY HAIR IS NOT EDGY

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** sure jan

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** SECOND OF ALL

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** INEJ???

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** BABE WHAT

 

**_Team Mom_ ** _ their username to _ **_Don’t Look At Me_ **

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** I AM C R Y I N G

 

**Don’t Look At Me:** i hate you so much nina zenik

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** THIRD OF ALL

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** THOSE DAMN PICTURES GO NO FURTHER

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** THEY STAY INSIDE THE CIRCLE

 

**not so bad herself apparently:** ooh like a coven? Are we all witches now?

 

**_get in losers we’re committing manslaughter_ ** _ added  _ **_Boyfriend Material_ ** _ to the conversation  _

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** someone fill jesper in

 

**get in losers we’re committing manslaughter:** and punch nina

 

**Don’t Look At Me:** g l a d l y

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> APOLOGIES FOR LACK OF UPDATES!  
> this isnt forgotten! its still in the works, ive just lost the motivation i used to have and feel like ive used up all my jokes :( thanks for sticking along with this story and my useless ass, it means a lot ♥  
> ~~~  
> KAZ = Team Dad, get in losers we're committing manslaughter  
> INEJ = Team Mom, Don't Look At Me  
> NINA = Team Mom's gf, not so bad herself apparently   
> JESPER = Boyfriend Material  
> WYLAN = Team Son, I HAVE SEEN BEAUTIFUL THINGS  
> andyesididforgetkuweiagainplstakemylaptopawayfrommewhenthesungoesdown


End file.
